I was in the linen closet of my parent’s house again, but now I was fully grown. I peered through the slats as a person in a white Has-Mat suit answered the door. The Dracs walked into the house, immediately shooting the person in the suit directly in the face. The figure fell, a pool of blood staining their clothes a bright red, the pool quickly expanding out from underneath them. I bolted out of the closet to see Arizona lying in his own blood, his eyes lifeless and vacant. I screamed bloody murder as the Dracs took off their masks, revealing the faces of Disco and G.I., the two people I’d trusted most in life. They lifted their guns to point at my face, cackling.
“Sunshine! Alabama, wake up!” I bolted awake as Arizona shook me, the noontime sun beating down through the windshield of the van. I blinked, registering Arizona leaning over me, his hands on my shoulders, looking concerned. I’d been dreaming. It was just a dream.
“Wha-what happened?” I panted, the adrenaline slowly fading from my veins.
“You were screaming in your sleep.” His eyebrows knitted together.
“I-I have these... horrible dreams.” I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself. “It’s why I don’t sleep much. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” He slowly climbed off of me, landing on the dusty ground and causing little pools of dirt to swirl around his feet. I jumped down and hugged him quickly, pulling myself together.
“I’m sure.” I nodded, releasing him. He grabbed my hand and grinned at me.
“Well, lets go inside then. You need to meet the gang, especially Neon, he promised he would stay long enough to meet you.”
“Damn, you’re already making me meet the family?” I shoved him, smirking. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand, leading me into the dilapidated diner.
The diner itself was ancient, a squat, one-story building made of cement and brick with an overhanging roof and large windows. It had obviously been built long before the Takeover, which meant it was built to withstand the bombings, allowing it to survive. The neon sign nearby was broken and had letters missing, but even though I could still tell it had once read The Chicken Basket.
We entered the front door and the busy place quickly died down to allow a pin drop to be heard. People stared at us whispering as I shifted from one foot to the other nervously.
“Arizona and his little whore finally showed up.” A girl sitting at a table with Solar and Tweety Bird sneered, her eyes looking me up and down.
“Oh, so I’m assuming you want a make-up job like Solar’s?” I stared her down as Arizona’s grip tightened on mine. The girl scoffed, but backed down.
“Now you be nice, princess.” A man in a glittery orange shirt and tight leather pants walked out of the other room. He was buff, like Arizona, only he had even more muscles upon muscles, like all he did was work out. My eyebrows went to my hairline as he walked towards us, clapping Arizona on the back.
“So Ari, did you really make a baby with a baby around?” He asked, grinning. Arizona said nothing, only kept looking straight ahead. The big dude looked down at me and quickly pulled me into a hug, crushing me to his chest before whispering in my ear. “You aren’t as small as Solar, but you are a bit skinnier.” He said then got real close to her ear and whispered. “Ari has a slight fetish with small girls.” He said then laughed and clapped Arizona on the shoulder. “If you get jiggy tonight, try to keep it down eh?” The crowd in the diner loved that comment, hooting and hollering along with him. Arizona’s face started to turn pink, even though he said nothing.
“Well then Solar and I can compare notes, ‘cuz there is plenty,” I paused to look Arizona up and down, “to say on this subject, if you catch my drift.” I smirked as the diner oohed. Arizona squirmed next to me. “But seriously, we didn’t even sleep in the same bed. Who are you, exactly?”
“His name is Neon Zombie.” Arizona said through gritted teeth. The big black dude pulled Arizona into a headlock, messing up his hair.
“Neon-er quit- cut it out!!” Arizona squirmed out of his grip.
“I’m Neon, Arizona’s dad.” He grinned at me.
“I, uh, see the resemblance.” I looked suspiciously between the two of them.
“Ehh calm down chicky, I’m not his biological father, just the Killjoy one who gets his ass out of tight places.” He smiled.
“Who’s the bitch over there then? And the rest of y’all?” I turned to the still-watching diner, who waited with baited breath, waiting to see what was gonna happen next. I had a feeling I was in for it as the girl’s face began to turn an unsightly red, but she quickly just turned around.
“Fiesty little thing aren’t you?” Neon looked me over, impressed. “Well, you know most everyone in Bird’s group, the ‘bitch’ is Cyanide Queen. Over by the boarded-up window is Adolescent Suicide with his group.” The clan was mostly pale kids dressed in darker colors, looking like the Killjoys who returned from the dead.
“Over in the corner is my group, recently attained. Seretonin Dreams, Devils Cannon, Sere’s brother; Angels Fall, Widows Whistler, and Falling Tears.” They each nodded or waved, acknowledging us. “You know all your people, and Wasp. And then the last group which belongs to JarJar Binks.” Two people sat in the corner with JarJar as their leader waved. “There are way more, so don’t think this is it. There must be another 40 people, but you know, business has them out and such, being busy ghosting Dracs and foiling plans.” Neon said with a shrug.
“Now, I do believe we have a funeral to get to?” He looked at me expectantly. I felt as if I’d been punched in the gut as I remembered G.I. Tears sprang to my eyes and I squeezed Arizona’s hand for support.
“Lets get to it then.” He turned on his heel and headed towards a door leading to what used to be a kitchen. We followed and talk soon resumed in the diner, seeing as the show was over. He stopped abruptly as we got to the door.
“Arizona, you know I can’t let you back here with her right?” He said seriously.
“What?” My mouth was agape. “You’re going to make me do this on my own?” I took a deep breath and mentally slapped myself. Pull it together, I thought. You watched him die for Pete’s sake, you can do this.
“You’re gonna be fine, Sunshine.” Arizona pulled me into hug, kissing the top of my head before releasing me. I breathed in and out slowly.
“Great to see you again, Dad.” Arizona hugged his father and slowly walked away. “Come find me you’re done, I have to help unload.” He looked at me. I smiled and turned around, facing the door.
“I’m ready.”
“All right.” He led me into what had once been the kitchen, but now had the distinct flavor of death in the air. I followed him to a table with a sheet placed over a lump that had once been G.I.
“The little boy Disco wanted you to pick out what words to go on his grave stone and what his final attire should be.” He said somberly, looking down at the body under the sheet.
“His jacket. A t-shirt. Some jeans, too, like he always wore.” I bit my lip, keeping the tears back.
“It’s alright to cry, chicky.” He said over his shoulder as he walked to a box, pulling out a green t-shirt and some jeans after a little rummaging.
“I don’t cry.” I took another deep breath and shook my head, getting rid of the tears.
“Chicky, everyone cries, it may take a while, but it will happen, Seretonin, she lost her dad only 3 months ago, and just barely started crying about it last week.” He looked at me sympathetically.
“I don’t cry.” I said again.
“Who are you trying to convince, me or you?” He said softly. “I’m telling you, everyone cries, even Arizona, he may seem like a hard rock, but that boy can cry.” He winked at me as I chuckled. “He has feelings, and so do you, I garuntee you will cry in time.” He finished.
“Oh, I know about him crying.” I laughed, wiping my eyes again. “We’ve been there several times.” I froze and covered my mouth, realizing what I just said.
“Either you said something to trigger it, or you are really something special to him. What was it about exactly?” He asked, concerned.
“Don’t tell anybody.” I begged. He crossed his heart.
“Well, I-um... you saw what Solar’s face looked like, right?”
“Yeah, that was you like she said?”
“Yeeah.” I chuckled nervously. “She started it, though.”
“She starts most everything. Now what was it exactly?”
“I insulted her in the van driving up to the gas station. It was bad enough to make him pull of the road and get in my face.” He cringed at my description. “So then we got to talking about his life while he was crying, about his sister, and then I sorta... well... kissed him.” I bit my lip nervously.
“Both his sister and Solar are big bomb spots for him. However, kissing him, might not have been a good idea... He is... well, rather attached to Solar, and the moment that she is available he will move in, so don’t let yourself get hurt.” He said knowingly with a nod.
“That’s not exactly the end...” I looked away as his eyebrows rose.
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Let’s just say we both cried a lot more, and... kissed a lot more...” My face felt hot.
“Daymn.” He looked me up and down. “That hasn’t happened with him before. You must be something awful special, chicky. I’m glad though, it’ll be good for him.” He nodded, smiling. I tried to calm the blush in my cheeks.
“Anyway, back to our deceased friend here.” He leaned on the table, looking down at the lump under the sheet. “Any thoughts you want on his cross?”
“Um... Can I think on it for a while? I want to talk to everybody else first.” I shifted from foot to foot nervously.
“Of course. Just get back to me soon so I can paint the cross.” He rearranged the sheet around G.I. “Your friends are in the other room with Wasp, if you’d like to say hey. Right through that door.” He pointed to a door labelled Out on the other side of the kitchen.
“Thanks.” I nodded, smiling, before dashing out the other door. The other door was dark, considering the windows let in minimal light and had no electricity. Mattresses lined the floor, at least 50 of them there. Wasp and everyone else were sitting on mattresses, some dressing still, all talking.
“Alabama!” Disco called, a grin on his face. I ran up to him and jumped into a hug, him catching me. We’d never been separated more than a few hours back in Zone 2, so it was obvious he’d been worried.
“He chica, have fun last night?” Rage hugged me before winking and making groaning noises. I punched him in the gut, doubling him over as Lightning walked over to hug me as well.
“Please be careful, okay?” Lightning said softly. I rolled my eyes at him, throwing him an exasperated look.
“First of all, I’m a big girl, second of all, WE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING!!!” I glared at all of them. Rage snickered and Disco rolled his eyes.
“Okay, drama queen, settle down.” Disco put his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them slowly. I whirled around and pushed him off me.
“Hey, I want a hug!” Mighty hugged me from behind. I turned around hugged the girl tightly.
“How could I forget about you?” I pulled away from her and turned to observe my motley crew. They’d all been cleaned up considerably, looking showered and newly dressed in Killjoy-type wear, complete with the crazy colors and prints, which set them apart from all others.
“You guys look good.” I nodded and looked them up and down.
“Next I’m chopping off this one’s hair.” Wasp came up behind Disco, ruffling his shaggy hair.
“Mo-om.” He rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem to mind that much. He seemed genuinely glad to have his mom back, and I couldn’t blame him.
“Well we have some trucks to unload still, so everyone outside. Come on, move it.” Wasp herded everyone outside. I followed, just in time to catch the very end of Solar and Arizona’s standoff. Not wanting to cause an argument, I ducked inside again and went back into the mattress room, straightening the mattresses around where my crew had obviously slept. We should be ready to leave, should anything happen. My mind, however, was over-analyzing the past 36 hours, the ones I’d spent with Arizona. This couldn’t go on. I’d just get myself hurt. He’d told me he was in love with Solar. No matter what I did, it was a fact, and he was probably only using me to make her jealous.
Two arms wrapped around my neck, causing me to jump, once again, several feet into the air. “What’s up, Sunshine?” Arizona said into my neck.
“Seriously, I’m putting a cat bell on you.” I turned to face him. He grinned and kissed me, causing me to melt into a puddle of goo. We came up for air, which is about when I remembered what I’d been stressing about before.
“No.” I backed out of his arms, almost tripping over a mattress. “We can’t do this.”
“What? Why not?” His eyebrows knitted together.
“Because-” I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Because you’re still in love with Solar.”
“Wait. That’s why? And Solar obviously doesn’t love me, so, I mean, I don’t usually give up, but,” He sat down on a mattress. “Why not give up on her? I mean, her and Bird are still together, and look, just, hear me out ok?” I had started to interrupt him, but closed my mouth, waiting. He rubbed his face, and like always, I knew I’d really done it this time. Great.
“Look, I wouldn’t be putting myself out there to you like this if I didn’t like you.” He said after a while. “My mum used to say, ‘To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.’ And,” He sighed again. “I think I have two worlds right now. I just need to figure out which one is gonna last, and I have a feeling it’s gonna be you.”
That wasn’t good enough for my head, even if my heart was screaming, TAKE HIM BACK! “I-I just...” I looked down at him in front of me. “I don’t know if I want to take that risk. It’s different here. You know that. I know that. And I see the way you look at her.” I gave a brief laugh. “She’s half the reason we’re here right now. I just don’t want to lose you, should the better option come along. I don’t want to find out you’ve been using me to make her jealous. I-I lost my last parent 48 hours ago. I can’t lose any more.” I turned away, hiding the tears. I sounded so weak, it made me want to hurl. “I’ve never done anything like... us before.”
“Risks are meant to be taken, as Killjoys our whole life is a risk. Just living is a risk.” He was close behind me, close enough to feel the heat from his body but not close enough to touch me. “Why not take another? And I’m not using you to make her jealous. You can trust me, Alabama.” I turned slowly to look up at him, my eyes searching his to try and see any sign of a lie, any trace of mistrust.
“But Solar’s just so-”
“But nothing.” He looked down at me, a small smile on his face. “I’m with you. Not because Solar’s unavailable. Not to use you. Because we, well, we just work.” He leaned down and planted a slow, smouldering kiss on my lips. We parted, and his hands reached up to cradle my face, his thumbs wiping away my tears. “And don’t you forget it.” I smiled and kissed him again. Damn, he was convincing.
Later that night, we were in the middle of the desert, the whole crew, plus Wasp’s family and the other Killjoys in the diner. Almost 60 people had shown up to place him in the shallow grave Neon and Arizona had dug earlier, wrapped in clean, white sheets and packed down into the sand with the raygun he’d died with. A large white cross was stuck into the top, even though none of the Killjoys or even G.I. himself followed any religions from the old world. It had his name, along with what we’d chosen.
G.I. Geronimo
Your shadow lives on without you
I sobbed as the last shovelful was placed atop the mound under which he was buried. Arizona hugged me to his chest, the setting sun illuminating the cross. We stood for a minute before Neon grabbed two large, paint-splattered buckets and began to walk among the crowd, handing out cans of spray paint.
“What is he doing?” I said softly to Arizona, drying my tears.
“It’s a Killjoy tradition. We graffiti the graves of our dead, so we can always find it.” Neon looked at me sadly as I dipped a hand into one of the buckets, Arizona doing the same. I looked at the old label. Lime green. G.I.’s favorite color.
Once everyone had a can, we moved forward to make a circle.
“Go.” Neon said quietly, and the paint poured in from all sides, making the bare, packed sand come alive with colors. I sprayed all over the cross and sand as well, illuminating the grave. After about a minute, we all spotted, surveying our handiwork. I smiled to myself as I saw the mixture of color and design. It was beautiful.
“He would’ve loved it.” I smiled, tears running down my face.
“He already does.” Arizona kissed the top of my head as we stood, watching the sun go down on G.I. Geronimo for the last time.
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