Wasp walked over to where I was sitting with Rage, Lightning and Plasma, a worried look on her face. “Honey, would you mind riding with Arizona? I’m worried about him.” Her brow was furrowed. She viewed Arizona as as much her kid as mighty Mouse and Disco, and she seemed nervous. “I mean, only if you’re comfortable...”
“No, it’s fine, I’ll take good care of him.” I said quietly, nodding to Wasp.
“I’ll tell him you’re going with.” Wasp replied and walked away briskly.
“Oh yeah, you’ll take great care of him.” Rage grinned at me, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“Shut up.” I smacked him upside the head, unable to keep the smile from my face as I said it. Somehow, even after seeing what Arizona had done and what he was capable of, I still trusted him. Granted, the kid had some serious issues, but I still didn’t think he was a bad guy. I’m not sure when I became so gosh-darned trusting. I went to take Babydoll from Mighty Mouse when I felt a searing pain in my back.
“Dammit.” I cursed quietly.
“Alabama honey...?” Wasp looked over at me, concerned.
“I got shot fighting. It’s just a graze, but I feel it now that the adrenaline’s wearing off.” I set Babydoll back down and took off my hoodie and t-shirt, exposing the diagonal burn mark just above my shoulderblade. The room made collective gasp, so I assumed it looked pretty bad.
“Zebra, can you-” Wasp started, only to have Arizona cut her off.
“Wasp, let me. You guys should get moving before the sun sets.”
“Are you sure you-”
“I’m sure.” He nodded quickly. “We’ll meet you there as soon as we’re done here. You guys stay, and we run the risk of them finding us again. A smaller group has a better chance.” He nodded quickly.
“All right.” Wasp shrugged. “But if there’s any more, ahem, flat tires, make sure to call and tell me.” She nodded. “Babydoll’s with you guys too?”
“Yep.” Arizona said quickly.
“All right then. Take her in the back and start cleaning up, we’ll head out I guess.” Wasp shrugged. “Come on y’all, let’s get moving.”
Arizona walked silently back into the back room of the gas station, me following, clothes in hand. He set Babydoll on the floor, giving her his jacket to keep her warm, while turning to a cabinet to take out some medical supplies. He cringed as he caught sight of my malnourished body. I bit my lip, knowing I was being judged and hating it. I jumped up on the counter, careful of my wound, and turned outward so he could wrap it. What was he thinking? I never got enough to eat back with the gang, giving most of my food constantly to Mighty Mouse or Babydoll. That’s why she wasn’t nearly as underdevelopedas me, as was Mighty Mouse. I folded my legs under me.
“I know how skinny I am. I don’t need you to say it.” I glanced over my shoulder as he began to clean my wound. He started to say something, but I cut him off. “I saw the face you made.” He put a hand on my naked waist, just below my ribs, making a shiver run through my body. His hands were cold, yeah, but it was more than that.
“I wasn’t going to say anything. I know it must have been hard finding food, and you probably decided to not eat so that someone else could. I understand that.” He paused, and then continued cleaning. “But you know what, we have loads of food and you’re gonna be fat in no time.”
“Doubt it.” I snorted. “I’d rather Mighty Mouse and Baby ate. Then I’ll get fat.” I chuckled, looking over at the little girl.
It was silent for a second, until I opened my big mouth again.
“So... are we never gonna talk about what happened in the van again, or...?” I paused, mentally banging my head against the nearest wall going Shut your mouth you fucking moron!!!
“You’re all gonna be fat.” He said, squeezing my waist just a tiny bit, surely feeling every bone there. “There, you will be good as new in no time.”
“I’ll take that as a no.” I shrugged on my clothes as he started to clean up the medical supplies, once again hiding anything and everything so that no one could wander in and take it.
“I’m gonna go see if the water works... it should since we are so close to the Basket.” He pulled off his shirt, causing my eyebrows to raise. I mean, damn. He had more to eat, so obviously he had a better body than any of the guys I knew, but it was still quite nice to see. Shaking my head to clear it of those thoughts, I picked Babydoll up gingerly, keeping her on the other side of my body, opposite my injury. The sound of squeaking and water falling catapulted me back to my childhood. It was called a shower. I hadn’t used one since that fateful day, back in Battery City. I bit my lip and began singing quietly to Babydoll an old nursery rhyme I probably hadn’t heard in just as long.
“Oh wasn’t it a bit of luck, that I was born a baby duck...” I sang quietly, dancing around the gas station. I continued this way for awhile, going through all the songs my mother had sang to me when I was small, and even the ones Mother Mayeye had taught me, ending with the slow, lyrical one I’d learned around the fire.
“There was a boy and a girl in a little canoe, with the moon shinin’ all around...” I sang softly as Babydoll nestled into my neck, falling asleep quickly. Suddenly, two arms snaked around my waist from behind, hugging my tiny frame to a muscular one. I stiffened until I heard Arizona’s voice.
“Having fun?” He asked, his lips near my ear. Goosebumbs ran up and down my spine as I relaxed again, melting into his chest.
“She’s out already, keep your voice down.” I said quietly.
“I thought she was deaf.”
“She can feel soundwaves in the air. She’s super sensitive to them.” I turned in his arms to face him, a slight smile on my lips.
“So you’ve decided to talk about it?” I looked up at him, seeing his cheeks turn pink.
“Yeah, I think we should talk about it.” He said finally, looking down at me.
“Well, I don’t know about you,” I stretched slightly, “but I’m done talking.” I stood on my tiptoes to meet his lips, his pressing hungrily against mine. Our mouths moved in sync, staying like that for an eternity until Babydoll shifted in her sleep, causing us to spring apart.
“We gotta stop doing this.” I shook my head, looking down at the baby, who was peacefully sleeping in my arms. “This child’s gonna pay big bucks for therapy one day.” I snickered. “If, y’know, the world ever goes back to normal.”
“Here, let me see her.” He took Baby from me as I moved my cramping shoulders, yelping when I realized I still had a graze on my back.
“I keep forgetting that goddamned thing’s there.” I said through gritted teeth, reaching back to put some pressure on it. Arizona wrapped Babydoll in his jacket, kissing her forehead before setting her down. And then he stood in front of me, that muscle in his jaw twitching nervously, his smile fading.
“Sorry, I think the pain pills were in Cyanide’s truck....” He stared nervously back at the floor.
“I don’t take pills anyway.” I shrugged, reaching down to grab Babydoll, but then stopping as I felt that darn pain again.
“Can you...” I gestured to the baby. “We should probably get moving, the sun’s setting.”
Arizona turned quickly to look out the window, swearing once he saw how late it really was. “No, We wouldn’t make it before dark, and Drac Vans.. well their headlights don’t actually work since they don’t leave Battery City after dark.. I’ll radio Wasp and let her know we will be there first thing tomorrow... I hope you can handle the looks you might get.” He paused as if thinking. “Some of the Killjoys like to spread nasty rumours if two people are out alone. Sorry.”
“We learned our lesson as far as radios go after that flat tire, eh?” I grinned at him mischievously. “And honey, I killed seven Dracs today, there’s no way I’m scared of some stupid rumor mill.”
“Well, alright, if you want people thinking we fucked then fine.” He stooped to pick up Babydoll, and then stopping to look at me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
“You know what, I liked you better after you got out of the shower, go take another one.” I shoved him laughingly towards the tiny shower in the back of the gas station. He grinned at me and scooped me up off my feet. I was glad right then and there I was never one of those people to screech when they’re surprised.
“Or you can go shower while I radio Wasp before she assumes things as well.” He grinned evilly.
“I think she’s gonna assume either way, she’ll just think it’s worse, considering we’re camping out here.” I shrugged, running a hand through my unruly hair. I hadn’t bothered to tie it back when we’d left the grocery store, so it still hung long and wavy down my back. “I made quite a reputation for myself in the, what, 24 hours I’ve known y’all?”
“You sure did, but uh, I rather like the impressions I’ve been getting. Get cleaned up while I get the mattress out and radio Wasp.” He set me down gently and turned away quickly, heading outside. Great. Right back to Square One; awkward Arizona.
I sighed and picked Babydoll up carefully with my other arm, placing her on the store counter nearby and out of the way before following Arizona outside. I opened up the passenger door of the van and took out my duffel as Arizona talked on the radio. He smiled, agnologing my presence as I shut the van door and went around the back to see what we could find for soap. It turned out we had the miscellaneous truck, full of whatever wouldn’t fit elsewhere, which gave us three boxes of food, four mattresses and nine or ten boxes of soap. I counted them quickly after reading the markings on the boxes.
“Good news, Ari, we’ve got plenty of soap!” I called up to him before climbing in the back and opening a box. Inside were bottles of hair stuff. Remembering how my mother used to wash my hair in the bathtub as a kid, I grabbed a bottle of shampoo and conditioner as well as a bar of soap from another box and walked back inside, starting the shower. I cleaned myself quickly, trying to conserve water, before getting out and drying off with my torn and bloody t-shirt. Luckily, Arizona had completely taped over my bandage, as to keep out any wetness. I slid into the pajamas I’d brought with me, which consisted of some cotton shorts and a tank top, before hauling the duffel back outside after hanging my old shirt over the shower bar. I set the duffel on the table and quietly changed Babydoll into pajamas, keeping from waking her up as I softly sang the song I was singing earlier.
“And they paddled and they paddled, for miles and miles, didn’t even hear a sound. So they talked and they talked, ‘til the moon grew dim, she said you better kiss me or get out and swim-” I chuckled at the honesty of the last line. “So, what’cha gonna do, in a little canoe, with the moon shining all a- girl paddlin’ all a- boy swimmin’ all around.”
“You said there was soap?” He said from behind me. I jumped a bit, considering I hadn’t heard him, but recovered quickly.
“Yeah, I found some.” I shook my hair out, it still being damp. “I don’t think I’ve been this clean since before the Takeover. You Killjoys have it good.”
“We don’t have it that good, sunshine.” He responded darkly.
“Well, better than we had it 24 hours ago. At least we were together then...” I took a deep breath, the tears threatening again. “What did Wasp say? We still need to bury G.I...” Arizona pulled me into a hug, which broke the dam, letting my tears flow freely.
“It happens. We just have to move on, forget the past. G.I, well I’m sure he is up in heaven or whatever there is after having a party. Don’t dwell to much, its okay to cry, but don’t blame yourself. Blaming yourself can be a bad thing, trust me on that, I know..” He said then kissed the top of my head, hugging me. My tears fell on his arms as I turned into his bare (and surprisingly well-muscled) chest, now sobbing.
“You don’t understand,” I said as I started to calm down, “It’s my fault. I was the one who had to do the right thing. I had to save the day. And you, and Zebra and everybody else can tell me it’s not my fault, but if he hadn’t been covering my ass so I could play hero, then he’d still be-” My breath caught sharply. I couldn’t say it. I sobbed and beat his chest, tears still running down my face. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.
“I do understand, you have no idea how much I understand what it’s like to feel like someones death is your fault. To think everyday, maybe, if I did something different, or, maybe if I didn’t do it at all they might be alive. But, feeling that, or thinking that, it’s not good, it tears you apart. And you can’t let yourself keep feeling that way. I brutally beat a man to death today because it was the only way to get rid of the anger I had bottled up inside. I let myself think the wrong way for to long, and look at me,” He paused and swallowed shaking his head. “I’m psychotic, “ He cut himself off, the muscle in his jaw twitching as he looked at me.
“No, you’re not.” I looked him square in the eye. “He threatened your family, and you fought back. They would’ve killed every last one of them.You got carried away. It’s not your fault.” I said seriously, looking him dead in the eye. His head dropped quickly.
“Alabama, I killed them, I killed my mother and my sister, so they wouldn’t have to live the way we do now. I told them to wait in the building and I set the bomb off.” He looked at me, his eyes showing sadness, hate and anger in those amazingly green pools. “That was my fault, what happened to G.I. was not your fault, it was an accident.” He turned away from me and rubbed his hands over his face, sobs racking his body.
“What?” I ran around the other side of him, grabbing him gently by the arms. “What happened?”
“Alabama, I killed them, I killed my mother and my sister, I was stupid, and they saw me..”
“I.....” He sighed and shook his head. “I was scared, and we didn’t have anywhere to go, no food. I was the strongest among the three of us so... I went out looking for food and some Dracs followed me back and they blew up the building they were in.” He managed to say after a while. “I’m a horrible person, and....” I cut him off with a tight hug. “Look, what I’m saying is, don’t blame yourself unless you meant to do it. That explosion almost killed me, and it killed my family. Wasp found me and I must have been minutes from dead.” He said, his voice choked with tears.
“You’re not a horrible person.” I said into his chest. “You’re an awesome person, living in an incredibly shitty world.” I looked up at him before reaching up and pulling his face down to mine, kissing him. This one was different before. He pulled me in close to him, hungrily moving his mouth with mine. It seemed we both had a need for each other, something that couldn’t be satisfied, which forced us together, consumed with the other’s presence.
We heard someone banging on the metal table and jumped apart, me pulling the rayguns I’d snagged from Wasp earlier and aiming them towards the noise.
“Damn it!” I yelled, dropping my rayguns as Arizona chuckled. Babydoll had woken up and was stomping her heels on the metal table, clapping.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” I shook my head at the entire situation.
“Oh come here Baby. I bet you’re hungry.” Arizona said and walked over to the little girl picking her up and balancing her on his hip. Her skinny arms wrapped around his neck contentedly. Arizona though his face was still stained with tears.
“You’re awfully good at catching us in the act.” I walked up to them, tapping her nose with my index finger.
“Yeah she must have PMS or something.” He said with a straight face as I started laughing. “What?”
“You’re kidding, right?” I said, trying to breathe. His face was confused, looking at me like I was insane.
“Three-year-olds don’t PMS!” I laughed. “That doesn’t show up until puberty.”
“Oh. Then what the hell is PMS?” He looked utterly and adorably confused.
“I think I’m gonna let Wasp explain that one to you.” I carefully took Babydoll from him. “Go shower, I’ll see if I can start a fire.” He grabbed a change of clothes and headed towards the tiny bathroom for his second shower of the day. I’d torn my already bloody t-shirt around the hem and taken the flaps off of the half-empty box we’d used to start a small fire. I placed the cans in the middle after peeling back the lids with a knife I always carried, willing them to warm quickly
Arizona returned about 20 minutes later, wearing some funny-looking pajama pants that came a good inch above his ankles.“You’re just too damn tall, huh?” I looked at the pants and then back up at him, grinning.
“Yeah, I don’t know why, everyone else seems so short compared to me.” He sat down on the mattress next to me, watching the fire. I snorted, shaking my head as Babydoll climbed over me to sit between us, playing with a toy dinosaur Wasp had given her.
“Well, at least she doesn’t choose favorites.” I remarked, watching her. We sat like that for awhile, me feeding the fire and Arizona watching it before I took the can gingerly and wiped my hands on my pants before sticking a finger in the soup, tasting it.
“It’s warm.” I nodded.
“Hold on.” Arizona ran into the back room, returning with two mismatching spoons. “Here.” He handed me one before tossing the other can onto the fire to warm. I ate slowly, feeding Babydoll first. The little tyke ate hungrily for a short while before pushing away the next spoonful that came near her. I then offered the two-thirds of a can that was left to Arizona.He pushed it back towards me.
“Nah, you eat it.”
“You’re kidding me, right?” I glared at him. “Eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat.” I glowered dangerously.
“I’m not hungry.”
“EAT!” I demanded, shoving the can at him.
“I’m not hungry.” He replied, grinning. He knew how to really get under my skin, although I was pretty sure that’s not why he was doing it. Either way, I didn’t care. I tackled him onto the mattress, careful not to spill the precious contents of the can, and straddled his chest, holding his arms down with my knees and shoving a spoonful of the sauce that was in the can into his mouth.
“You’re gonna eat it whether you like it or not!” I grinned triumphantly, force-feeding him. Babydoll laughed silently as I fed him quickly, barely giving him time to swallow. He squirmed underneath me, eventually freeing his hands to grab the can and spoon, set them down and grabbed my shoulders. I resisted as much as possible without hurting him, wrestling with him until he rolled over on top of me, pinning my arms to the mattress above my head.
“Damn you and your brute strength.” I squirmed, grinning. “If I was 20 pounds heavier-” I was cut off by his mouth colliding with mine, catching me by surprise. I quickly fell into step with him though, pulling away only when I realized who was sitting next to us. I nodded towards the little girl, who was grinning happily.
“Seriously, some shrink could make a fortune.” I moved my arms out of his grasp when I felt my cut again. I cursed quietly and sat up, clutching it.
“Here.” Arizona handed me a can. “I’ll eat the rest of this,” he held up his can “if you eat all of that.” He pointed to my can.
“Fine.” I grumbled, figuring it was the best option I had. I ate quickly, the warm noodles sliding down my throat. I scraped the can out as best as I could and set it next to the mattress, feeling fuller than I had in a long time. I laid back down next to Arizona, Babydoll climbing in between us and settling down, quickly falling asleep. I stared at the ceiling, feeling warm, safe and comfortable.
“Y’know, I was with G.I. my entire life, it feels like.” I smiled. “It’s hard to believe someone like that could ever get dusted out at all. He was like a superhero to me, considering he found me.” I looked over at Arizona, who was stroking Babydoll’s hair and watching me intently.
“How did he find you?” Arizona said softly, the dying fire reflecting off his face. He’d left his goggles off, allowing me to see his eyes.
“Well, back in 2012, my parents were scientists researching medicines for the government. When the nuking started and BL/Ind took over, my parents naturally joined them, not seeing the harm. Back then, people still believed in the company, even without the drugs. But my mom and dad must’ve figured out what they were planning to use their research for, so my mom refused, taking her secrets home and hiding them. Where, I have no idea, but she hid me in the linen closet when Dracs knocked on the door one day, trying to keep me safe.” My eyes started tearing up as I heard her voice in the back of my head. We’re going to play a game... “Anyway, they shot her when she refused to show them where she hid the research. I saw through the slats in the closet. They found me about an hour later and dragged me outside, when G.I. came up behind them and shot them both. He carried me out of the city and back to the original gang. Saved my life, really.” I blinked back my tears. “He was a lab tech for my parents, so he told me all about them over the years. I lived with him and his college friends for years, some of which had found Disco and Mighty Mouse right after I showed up. The old gang members died off slowly after awhile, though, leaving just G.I. and all us kids." I shrugged. "I got my name from Mother Mayeye, the closest thing to a mom I had after the explosions." I chuckled. "It's a pretty funny story actually. Before the takeover, my mom and dad and I had lived in Alabama, which gave me a really heavy accent. Mayeye called me Alabama from it. They would laugh and/or cower in fear when I got angry, because I would go around breaking things and swearing with my accent. Mayeye used to say to me when I got upset, ‘Alabama, you're just like napalm; when you get angry, everything around you gets burned.’ The name just sorta stuck, I guess." I shrugged. “At least some good came out of all this.” I gestured to the room. “I mean, Disco and Mighty Mouse found their mom, we’re much better off now, I met you...” I let it hang, looking cautiously at Arizona.
“I don’t understand you.” He studied me with something in his eyes I couldn’t read. “You... you saw what I... did to the man in a Drac mask today. How could you let me within 100 feet of you? How could you stand to... touch me.” Arizona looked at his hands, seemingly repulsed by his own existence.
“Hey.” I put my hands to his face, lifting it to look at me. “What I see is the way you play with Babydoll, the way you defend Solar,” I chewed my lip a bit at that one, “the way you and I... we just work. You’re a fucked up kid, just like me, just like every one of us. You’re not a horrible person, you’re not a monster. You’re Toxic Arizona. Arizona for short.” I grinned at him. “Don’t forget it, either.” He grinned and kissed me, soft and slow. We separated, Babydoll still lying motionless between us.
“That’s bad for your teeth Baby..” He pulled her thumb out of her mouth, careful not to disturb her.
“You want to talk about fucked-up kids, she’s got a great story.” I motioned to a sleeping Babydoll. “We were patrolling the Zones about two years ago or so, looking for food by a building that just went down from bombings when Mighty Mouse runs back to us, a baby in her hands, screaming for us to help her. Mayeye opened her airway again and got her breathing, eventually nursing her. Her own baby had gotten ghosted a little bit before, so she nursed her...” I mentally connected the dots, looking from Babydoll to Arizona. They looked so similar. He had a sister who died in a bombing, he thought.
“No...” It couldn’t be. That’s too many coincidences for one day. I shook my head. “I need to stop spinning these conspiracy theories. Here, I’ll take first watch. Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up later.” I stood up and kissed him quickly as he started to object, shutting him up before walking out into the cool desert air, still hot from the radiation that was always apparent in the atmosphere. Settling down for the watch, I smiled to myself. Yeah, G.I., I really did it this time.
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